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There are multiple points in my life that I would consider “defining”. This moment was one of them. There were reasons that I delayed my final doctor checkups prior to boarding my impending flight to study abroad for almost a year. Although not very good reasons, there were reasons. I rarely got sick and I just never considered going to the doctor for preventative care as a starving student’s priority. Silly me. Part of the prerequisites that the Study Abroad Office required (in addition to Visas, Passports, and shots) were these pesky doctors’ visits. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t dread them, I just was too busy running on full steam to consider any (so I thought) unnecessary distractions.
In two weeks prior to takeoff, I squeezed in my mandatory doctors’ visits. I was pretty proud of myself getting all the checkmarks of preparedness knocked out. I was set to see the world and was unflappable.
I was on a momentous trajectory until my phone rang 3 days prior to take off.
“Hello, this is Nurse So and So from Dr. X’s office.”
“Yes?” I answered.
“You ran lab tests on your latest visit?” the nurse confirmed.
“Hmm?” I agreed.
“You need to come in as soon as possible, your lab cells are considered abnormal,” she coldly replied. There it was– the formal request.
“Um? I’m sorry that’s not happening, I leave out of the country in 3 days,” I said hurriedly.
“Ma’am, you have cancer.”
I hung up.
I told absolutely no one. Not one soul.
Why? I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.
I was in a dismal state for those three days where my meditation and comfort in my Faith took over my mind and my heart to a place that I finally came to understand as inner peace. I had never known what it was like to stare at something with such magnifying precision until then. I had never known a love of life such as I did then at that moment when I asked God, “Why me?” I never got angry at Him but I stood resolutely in the comfort that He gave me one more day. In that gift, I could change everything, in how I chose to live, in the ways I could touch others’ lives and how to love life and everything about it.
I will never forget that day. That day will live forever in my memory as the catalyst to live every single day to the utmost.
That day, the very worst day of my life, suddenly became the very best day of my life. It changed my fabric. It ingrained in me the ability to express gratitude for one more breath and one more memory to make. I did not take this new responsibility lightly, I took this as a serious mission to love my life and leave a legacy. If He needed to take me, I would not feel sorry for myself and I would imagine others would say “She relished every second she got to be alive.”
I left for almost a year with a renewed purpose to forge the best life imaginable.
It was the most sensational year spent, with memories even Hollywood couldn’t remake.
Fast forward to a return to the States almost a year later from the BEST YEAR of my life to finally talk to the doctor. When I finally braved the phone call, I lost my breath but stood firmly in the challenge to face my fear. My fear was not the cancer, but telling the ones who loved me about it.
My voice quivered as I asked about going to see the doctor about um, my situation.
What came as a response will forever be known as my miracle.
“Ma’am, we have absolutely NO RECORD of anything suggesting abnormal results about your lab work. I’m sorry to say, but we may have had the wrong number?”
It is such a shame that we don’t fully realize the power of connection anymore. Because of our amazing internet reach around the world, we are taking for granted the fact that even though technology is at our fingertips and very accessible to many, we should not forget REAL LIFE connections! The air of a surprise is quickly dissipating with magical moments like wedding proposals being announced to the world a mere minutes after the happenstance. What happened to relishing the moment? Savor it, yes, but reflect on it before it just becomes a captured moment in the reel of your life. You are not in a movie, YOU ARE LIVING IT! How lucky are you?!
As AWESOME as everyone’s life appears to be online, please remember, you are watching their very best commercial. We do not see daily struggles behind a brilliant (but pained) smile. I recently sat at a business table with brilliant beautiful accomplished friends and immediately they began tossing around negative disparaging remarks about themselves. I felt like shaking them and saying “You do not do this to my friends!” YOU MATTER. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. This is why I feel so passionate about empowering others to love the life they choose with fervor and passion.
WHAT TO DO TODAY
Help each other out, with a smile, with genuine words, high-fives, validation, thumbs up, hugs, xoxoxos, kindness without motives.
Imagine what we could do if we were to rid the world of gossip, hate, jealously, and wickedness? It starts with me. I wish to give you a virtual hug in hopes that you understand how amazing it is to share a life with so many who live courageously and lovingly. I can not wait to shake your hand and learn your story.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SPREAD LOVE TODAY? LET ME KNOW!
I am launching my own coaching practice! I have been sitting on this idea for MORE than you know, people believed in this WAY more than I did. When we secured our first major contract, I knew it was time to fan the flame of this pursuit and honor it wholeheartedly. I am called to help others achieve success. It is my passion and joy to launch others to heights previously unattainable.
Accountability is key. Help me help you, you will be helping me too!
HARMONIZE YOUR LIFE!
My small space in the world began almost a year ago, after rewritten business plans (tons), securing funding (ha!) and starting to share my mission with those who empower, I have only come to realize I will NEVER have it all right before I start. Facing my biggest fear is actually STARTING.
Click below to learn a little about me and my mission to create an amazing life for you.